


Dried Tears

by sheisagenius



Category: Scorpion (TV 2014)
Genre: F/M, Quintis - Freeform, a long overdue post 2x24 fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-01
Updated: 2016-09-01
Packaged: 2018-08-12 07:56:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7926844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sheisagenius/pseuds/sheisagenius
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Happy reflects on past moments that prove what she and Toby have is real. In other words, it's time to give Happy some attention.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dried Tears

**Author's Note:**

> I meant to finish and publish this a long time ago, but life got in the way.

The tears were slipping readily down her cheeks now, falling one by one onto her jacket as she forced open the thick door that led to the alley way. It clanged shut behind her, the noise hitting her ears before fading away, leaving its imprint in her brain. She gulped in the evening air, as if she had come into oxygen after almost suffocating.

The ringing faded away, but a new pressure settled behind her eyes and a feeling of dizziness followed. Happy reached out, almost blindly, until her fingers hit the rough brick walls of the garage. She sank down against them roughly, letting her eyes fall shut.

The bricks were solid behind her back. Solid, stable, but uncomfortable as she sat crouched down on the ground, not far from the back door. After a few minutes, she peeled her eyes open, just in time to see a big, dark cockroach skitter just a few inches away from her boot-clad foot, reminding her almost mockingly of her current anguish.

She wanted for a moment to just retreat inside her head like she would before, to let everything go numb and just ignore, ignore, ignore. But she found that she couldn’t. Her mind provided no more solace than biding her time outside in the balmy night did.

If she stretched her neck and looked down the road, she could see the familiar lights of LA twinkling in the distance. It was dim and lonely where she was in comparison, and it was doing nothing for her mood.

She ran her hands through her hair, pulling it into a quick ponytail to let the bit of wind that blew ever so often cool her neck. Leftover confetti fell into her lap, the silver of it barely glimmering in the scant moonlight. But it was enough to make her eyes well up with tears again as she recalled the moment by the piano.

Happy was upset, mad and frustrated, _heartbroken_. She hadn’t wanted things to happen the way they did, and even though she’d been working on figuring out a plan, Toby had veritably thrown a wrench into anything she might have come up with. She didn’t want to have to tell him no, but she simply couldn’t say yes.

Her eyes drifted shut again as she thought back to all the moments in their relationship when she had allowed herself to give into her emotion and relish her commitment to him, to them.

 

* * *

 

_It felt like her heart was beating a million miles a minute as what they had just talked and agreed about really sunk in. She kept rubbing a spot on her wineglass without thinking, staring at Toby until he pulled it out of her hand with a smile and leaned in, touching his lips to hers softly, gently but with a fire behind them that would not be quelled. He slid his hands down from her cheeks to her shoulders, trailing slowly across them until he started plucking open the buttons at the top of her shirt._

_Moments later he had pulled her up from the couch and was kneeling in front of her, lips pressed against the skin of her hip as he unhurriedly pushed down her jeans. Happy wondered, her fingers tangled in his hair, if every time after would be just as thrilling, just as intense as this first. He started moving his mouth across her lower stomach and her breath hitched, his eyes snapping up to find hers locked on him. Toby’s mouth quirked up. Someone could be breaking into the apartment and Happy wouldn’t notice; him and his touch were the only things she was focused on._

 

* * *

 

_As soon as she dropped her bag onto her worktable, Happy walked over to the back of the garage by the trailer, spying Ralph on his laptop sat by a sleeping Toby. He looked up when he heard Happy’s boots, shooting her a small smile as she ruffled his hair. Happy paused to look over at Toby, noting how he was just barely wheezing now compared to the night before._

_Ralph was eyeing her expectantly, no doubt waiting for his money, but before anything she quickly went across the garage to retrieve Toby’s blanket from the couch._

_“Did you get him his favorite soup? Tea?” Her words were quiet as she draped the blanket over Toby, tucking in the edges and smoothing it out over him._

_“Everything you said,” Ralph responded, eagerly reaching out to take the folded up bills Happy handed him._

_“Ok, good boy.” Happy sat down in the empty seat Ralph had vacated, letting out a tired breath._

_She was watching Toby, her eyes tracing all the lines of his face when Ralph spoke again, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “You always yell at Toby, why did you want me to do all this?”_

_It was a simple question for Ralph and he was genuinely curious, so Happy gave the young genius an answer she hoped was straightforward enough and yet still honest._

_“Truth is, I am falling for the guy.” The words made something catch in her chest; a fluttery feeling she figured was love._

_A little frown appeared on Ralph’s face though. “Ew, gross.”_

_Holding in a laugh, Happy replied. “I know, right?”_

_She knew Ralph, as genius as he was, was as much a kid as the next 11 year old. Regardless, she hoped he’d experience one day the kind of genuine love she knew Toby had for her, and that she was slowly accepting she had for him._

_Her previous words were still echoing in her mind as he walked off, and she glanced back at Toby. He looked more peaceful, as if in the few minutes she had been there he’d relaxed more in his sleep. She figured he’d be ecstatic if he had been awake to hear what she admitted though._

_Happy ran her hand over Toby’s shoulder, more so for the sake of contact or comfort than anything else, before dropping it back into her lap._

_And she sighed._

_She had realized that she really loved him too much to even think about leaving him be in moments like this. Happy knew then and there that no matter what, she would do whatever was necessary to help him, even if that meant sitting with him while he slept._

_The sound of the garage door slamming shut reached her ears and she glanced around the back area of the garage. Nobody was in sight, and so she slipped her hand underneath the blanket, linking Toby’s fingers with her own._

 

* * *

 

_Happy felt a brief moment of panic the second she heard Walter’s voice coming from the living room. They hadn’t decided on telling the others yet, and the possibility of Walter stumbling in on her naked in Toby’s apartment definitely wasn’t part of the plan. She forced herself to calm down though; Toby would make up some excuse so Walter wouldn’t come in._

_After a while spent snuggling into the warm spot Toby left in the bed, she decided to chance a peek into the living room. Happy threw the tangled sheets off of herself, pulling herself up and almost stumbling over a pillow that had fallen on the floor as she grabbed Toby’s robe. It was far too big on her, and she inhaled without thinking as his scent enveloped her._

_Toby’s hideous curtains caught her attention as she padded into the living room. He had the door strategically half shut, limiting what Walter could see into the apartment and she shifted her weight around, only half paying attention to what they were saying._

_Until she heard Toby mention to Walt how he had never been happier in his life than right then._

_The words made something warm bubble up in her chest and when he briefly glanced over his shoulder at her she could feel the corners of her mouth curving upward. He shut the door just a few seconds later._

_“Really, Doc? You’ve really never been happier?”  She had been itching to say the words as soon as Toby closed the door._

_From one moment to the next, a giddy smile appeared on his face as he walked over to her, the intensity behind it making a nervous but thrilling feeling bubble up in her stomach. Happy felt her expression reverting back into her long-practiced, neutral one in an attempt to keep her nerves and the rest of the elation she was feeling in check._

_“God as my witness, I’m not going to do anything to ruin this.”_

_It was just a few words, and as much as she knew Toby’s shortcomings she found herself trusting him. And with that inkling of certainty she felt herself loosen up some, the few jitters she had also felt in her chest disappearing._

_Toby looked so earnest as he leaned in, pressing his lips to hers, snaking his arms around her waist, pulling her against him. It was as if Happy were melting into the kiss, her lip quivering against his as she felt more vulnerable than she had in a long time, the feeling of a newer and deeper level of trust infiltrating her brain._

_She slipped a hand up over his shoulder and close to his neck, relishing the warmth under her fingertips and flooding through her body again. It didn’t stop there, only growing as Toby moved his mouth across her jaw. His hand followed, moving from the small of her back to the front of his robe and sliding underneath against her skin._

_“Thanks for not letting Walt come in,” Happy half breathed, half blurted out suddenly._

_Happy’s eyes were still shut tight and her mouth just barely open when Toby pulled himself away from her neck to gauge her reaction. At the sudden loss of contact, her eyes flew open and Toby grinned._

_“You know I’d never let Walter bother us like that, Hap. You can be sure about that.”_

_He put a bit more emphasis on ‘us,’ she noticed, and again she felt that sweet and palpable, and no longer so scary feeling of trust washing over her._

 

* * *

 

Happy only realized she was crying again when she brushed an annoying strand of hair out of her face and touched her wet cheeks. These memories had all played in her mind like a movie, constant reminders of why she chose him. Though perhaps one of the most poignant of them started to settle in her thoughts. She looked up above her, almost expecting to somehow see the roof from where she was, the roof where they had shared so many moments.

                                                                                                                                 

* * *

 

_He smelled good, she thought, and although that was the least important thing in that moment, she couldn’t help but take it as a comfort. His arms felt secure around her too, and it all helped the tension seep out of her body._

_Nobody had ever done for her what Toby did that evening, and as she looked over his arm at the burning papers by the candle, she felt grateful for him._

_But Happy also hoped that by saying what she said, by him doing what he did, Toby would realize that this was what was best for him too. A life not plagued by poker games, betting sessions, and bookmobiles._

_She let out one last sob suddenly, surprising herself and Toby, who seemed to wrap himself even further around her. It pained her to think that Toby didn’t think enough of himself to stop his self-sabotage, because she knew he was capable of it. Happy also knew of course that she played a big part in that, but to know that Toby would settle for less, wouldn’t think his problem needed fixing broke her heart._

_Her words from earlier, what she had said in an impassioned bout of zeal still resounded in her head, and she hoped they still did the same in Toby’s too. She needed him to know for himself that the gambling wasn’t a positive and that change was imperative, and for so many more reasons than just the fact that it would guarantee him countless nights in back alleys, bruised and beaten and hurt._

 

* * *

 

Happy was hugging her knees to her chest, lost in her thoughts. Her tears had dried, leaving stains on her cheeks and her eyes red. It was the sound of the metal door opening and slamming shut that drew her attention, startling her in the process. She couldn’t really make out the figure in the shadows at first, eyes still a bit bleary in the nighttime. It was only until she heard the person’s voice that she realized it was Cabe.

“Happy.”

He was reaching a hand out to her, but her brain didn’t really catch up to what was happening until Cabe bent down some and pulled her up. And then, in a gesture Happy wouldn’t have expected, he wrapped her in a big hug.

She stood there, stunned and silent, not knowing what to say until Cabe must have realized it and started talking himself.

“I was on my way home when I realized what I last said to the Doc was pretty awful, so I came back, talked to him a little bit. But I wasn’t about to leave again without talking to you too.”

Happy sighed, and Cabe could clearly see the exhaustion in her features. “Thanks, Cabe.” She gave him a half-smile, too weary and upset to try for a full one.

“Look, Happy, I don’t know what this secret marriage is about or for that matter how I as a Homeland agent and the team’s handler didn’t know, but what’s done is done and instead of focusing on what should’ve or could’ve happened, you and Toby both need to look to the future and work on getting past this.”

His expression was steady and sincere, and he raised his eyebrows as he waited for her acknowledgment. Happy would have liked to think that Cabe’s words made her feel better, but in reality she felt a new despair and emptiness within herself.

“I screwed up, Cabe,” she paused, trying to collect her thoughts and at the same time keep her voice from wavering. “And I’m not sure how to fix this because of how it played out.”

He looked sadly at her, his eyes probing her for any unsaid clues that could help him help her. Happy herself looked down, expression miserable, and if there were one thing Cabe might guess she was feeling, it was annoyance. He was probably wondering what kind of circumstances had led her to this point.

Happy sighed again, continuing in a quiet but steady voice. “But I’m scared of what will happen if we don’t fix it.”

She shifted her eyes, trying to focus on taking apart the little wall mounted lamp above the door and less on the mess of misunderstanding and poor communication she was facing.

Cabe gave her shoulder a quick squeeze. “Look, kid, what you and Toby have is the real deal. It’s going to be painful and messy, that’s a given, but I know you two can work this out. Okay? Take it from me.”

After a moment Happy nodded and Cabe gave her one last smile before walking down the alley and around the corner to his car. She knew Cabe had only good intentions and she did appreciate what he had to say, but what he didn’t know was how much of a can of worms things currently were, and how scared she was of opening it. It took her another few seconds before she composed herself enough, breathing in deeply as pulled open the door to the garage.

She found Toby in the kitchen and was surprised to see him pouring out the rest of a bottle of tequila into the sink. She took in another deep breath, opening her mouth to begin talking when Toby turned around, meeting her eyes.

The expression of misery on his face was enough to force her mouth shut again, and she stood there awkwardly, staring at the ground and messing with the hem of her sleeve.

“Walter went to Tahoe.” Toby’s voice had none of its usual warmth and for a minute the idea of escaping sounded very appealing to Happy. But she remained firm, mouth opening again as she thought of something to say.

“Finally,” she settled on, feigning enthusiasm and not trusting herself yet to say more.

She couldn’t help the longer than necessary sigh that left her mouth or the renewed pang of annoyance she felt, and when she looked back up at Toby his brows were just slightly furrowed. But the hint of confusion on his face was gone just as quickly as it appeared, replaced by a tiny glimmer of hope in his eyes, pleading for her to say something more.

It was just enough to give Happy a bit of courage, and before she could change her mind, words spilled out of her mouth.

"We should talk.”


End file.
